Breaking Up Can Be Hard To Do

Breaking Up Can Be Hard To Do

Are you going through a break up after living together with someone? Sadly, by the time cohabiting couples begin thinking about their rights it will be far too late because until you do break up, you don’t give this any thought. A recent court case highlights once again the dangers of living together without entering into a formal cohabitation agreement. The case in question involved a couple who had lived together for 16 years. In this time, they jointly bought a house and intended to marry but never did so. When their relationship came to an end they agreed to terminate their co-ownership of the property. What they couldn’t agree on was how to split the sale proceeds of the property. Because the couple had no written agreement as to what their respective financial obligations were in regard to the costs of acquiring and maintaining the house, the court had to exercise its discretion in deciding who got what. The main dispute concerned expenses relating to the property, which only one of the parties – the man in this instance – paid for. The man claimed he had spent R815 000 more than his then partner on the property which he wanted back before sharing the balance of the sale proceeds with her. The woman asserted that the man’s claims had prescribed i.e. had become legally unclaimable for lack of enforcement within 3 years of the incurring of those expenses. The man tried to convince the Court that his co-ownership of the property amounted to a partnership thus keeping his claims alive. He failed – losing R815 000 in the process....
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4 Things Every Woman Should Know About Negotiation

4 Things Every Woman Should Know About Negotiation

For many women, negotiating can be a tricky thing. Hannah Riley Bowles, a Senior Lecturer in Public Policy at Harvard Kennedy School, has devoted her career to researching the nuances of gender negotiations and the attainment of leadership positions. Through her research, Bowles has unearthed several insights that can help all women be more successful in their negotiations. Feeling Icky? There’s A Reason. When it comes to negotiating salary, many women describe an icky or uncomfortable feeling that takes over before heading into the conversation. Turns out, there’s a reason why that happens. First of all, the idea of women self advocating and claiming more money for themselves comes into conflict with the feminine ideal. Contradicting the female stereotype can make women feel nervous and insecure when they go into a negotiation. Bowles explains that this is both a product of women’s own perception of the feminine ideal and their perception of what men think of them. Whether it’s conscious or not, being aware of how men think women should act can have an impact on how a woman approaches the negotiation. Women’s fear of how others will perceive them during negotiation is not a product of their imaginations. Bowles conducted a study that revealed that people are much less likely to want to work with a woman who negotiates than they are with a man who negotiates. For women, then, the social costs of negotiation are much higher; there are very real potential consequences of negotiation. Women Are Actually Great Negotiators In spite of this, Bowles’ research revealed that women are actually excellent negotiators… as long as they’re...
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Negotiating with Emotion

Negotiating with Emotion

People have strong feelings about negotiation. Sometimes those feelings erupt. The 2011 sale of a $3 million brownstone in New York’s Greenwich Village almost fell apart because of a dispute over an old washing machine that the sellers had removed from the premises two days before the closing. Stephen Raphael, the lawyer for the owners, told the New York Times that it really wasn’t worth fighting over, “but the buyers had already felt pressured to up their offer and to concede many things, and this was the last straw.” At the closing the sellers still refused to replace the machine. One of the buyers ripped up a seven-figure cashier’s check for the balance due, put a match to the scraps, and stomped out of the room. The sellers finally relented and agreed to reduce the price by $300. The brokers found the angry buyer at a nearby bar, nursing a drink. They coaxed him back and the deal was done. Negotiations can get even hotter. Fern Hammond, a New York broker, was present years ago when an angry woman flung a set of house keys at a man’s face as hard as she could. “All of a sudden there was blood all over the place,” Hammond said in the same Times story. “Everyone was pushing the papers out of the way.” The target of the woman’s anger was her own husband. She was furious that he had agreed to sell their place for less than she thought it was worth. Yet while some people boil over in negotiations, others freeze up. Take Chris Robbins, an emergency room physician at...
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8 Secrets to Negotiation

8 Secrets to Negotiation

Secret #1 Negotiations is very much a confidence thing. So, in starting to share secrets of negotiations with you, I will begin by reminding you that the greatest mistake you can make in negotiations is to fear you will make one.   Secret # 2 Negotiation is orientated to the future. It is the art of achieving the possible not the impossible.   Secret # 3 No negotiation has any value if it comes too easy. Lasting agreements demand a co-operative process with gains and concessions on all sides.   Secret #4 As a negotiator you will want to take your counterparts from where they are to where you want them to be by using effective communication.    Only 7% of spoken communication is made up by words. One’s tone of voice and appearance making up the rest. Choose your words carefully, look good, smile often and speak in a controlled, friendly tone.   Secret #5 The best way to get what you want is to help the other side get what they want.   Secret #6 Win-win in #negotiations does not mean you win 2-0!   Secret #7 There is a reason why there are two i’s in the word “negotiations”. Two i’s make “We”.   Secret #8 Negotiators listen and question. They help others make their own decisions by guiding discussions with succinct questions and...
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